Thursday, November 11, 2010

How God spoils movies

TITLE SHOT

THE THERMODYNE SYNDROME

CREDITS

RICHARD BASEHART

as Mike Ridgley, ace science-beat reporter and adventurer

PHYLLIS COATES

as Samantha "Sam" Carter, prize-winning photojournalist and Mike's "gal Friday"

BELA LUGOSI

as Dr. David Lindstrom, brilliant theoretical physicist

HUMPHREY BOGART

as General Hailes

EDWARD G. ROBINSON

as the President

JAMES CAGNEY

as Time Traveller, mysterious defender from the future

BORIS KARLOFF

as the Alien Commander

written and directed by

BILLY WILDER

CROSS-FADE TO:

ACT I, SC. I

EXT. EST. SHOT

Twilight. The driveway to a mysterious old mansion.

A car arrives. Mike and Sam emerge and approach the front door.

SAM

He could hardly have picked a spookier spot for his research, could he?

MIKE

Scared, Sam?

SAM

Who, me? Never. As a matter of fact, I'm thrilled.

MIKE

To meet Dr. David Lindstrom?

SAM

The inventor of the "Lindstrument"? Who wouldn't be?

MIKE

Well, not everyone, these days.

SAM

I know. He had such a bright future at MIT... until...

MIKE

Yes.

SAM

Never mind that now, Mike. Let's get in there and see what it is he wants to show us!

CROSS-FADE TO:

ACT I, SC. II

INT. EST. SHOT

A high-tech laboratory. Dr. Lindstrom leads Mike and Sam in.

LINDSTROM

I'm so grateful you've come. I'm on the brink of something momentous!

MIKE

We're honoured to be chosen to be the first to see, Doctor. Oh, where are my manners? Doctor, this is my partner, Samantha Carter. Sam, Dr. David Lindstrom.

SAM

(removing lens cap from her camera)

It's such an honour, sir.

LINDSTROM

You're too kind. You know, most reporters wouldn't touch this story with a ten-foot pole. But I knew you'd be different, Mike. You're just like your father.

MIKE

(unspooling mic to large tape recorder)

Thank you, Doctor. I try to live up to his legacy.

LINDSTROM

I wish he could have seen this day. Most of my colleagues scoff at my ideas—

GOD

That's 'cause they're crap, Dave.

Sam replaces lens cap as Mike begins looping mic back up.

SUPERIMPOSITION:

[production credits]

LINDSTROM

Well, back to the drawing board. Thank you for coming.

MIKE

The pleasure was all ours, Doctor.

SUPERIMPOSITION:

THE END

LINDSTROM

Well, good-b—

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