Actor, 34, found laid

Noted actor Nick Kersoff was discovered laid in his Beverley Hills condominium this morning. He was, and is, 34.

Kersoff was discovered by his housekeeper, Juanita Reyez, in his bedroom just after she arrived for work this morning. "I knock on the door and think he not in so I go into the room and there is Mr. Kersoff, laying in bed, laid. With big smile on his face. And I don't know what to do, so I telephone someone!" said a distraught and barely intelligible Mrs. Reyez.

First on the scene was Mr. Kersoff's friend and longtime chauffeur, Yitzhak Living. "When I saw Nick lying there, laid, I just couldn't believe it. I was talking to him just night. He seemed so celibate, so unaccompanied. I can't imagine how this happened."

Fellow actor Jo Blaub-Forye, Kersoff's costar on the set of the upcoming teen comedy Pull My Finger, currently in production, said that she had an inkling "something was up".

"He was acting weird all day. He couldn't concentrate on his lines. He couldn't look me in the face; his eyes kept drifting downward... like he was distracted. Like he had big things on his mind. He just couldn't keep still. I got the definite impression something had a grip on him, but he wouldn't open up to me," Blaub-Forye said.

As to exactly what befell Kersoff last night, speculation runs rampant. It is still unknown if Kersoff's fate was the act of a single individual, or was gang-related.

"I won't tell you Nick didn't have a sexual history," said Living. "Everyone knows he did. He was very honest about that. In recent years, he cut down a lot, I can attest to that. But I'll tell you this. What happened to him last night... he didn’t do that to himself. Someone was behind it. Or in front. Or beneath."

When asked what he will do now, Living said, "Get on with our lives. That's what Nick would want." Shaking his head, he then drove the beaming Kersoff off to work.